He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
