Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize