BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
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