sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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