i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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