In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
