hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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