did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
