Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Randomize
