considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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