Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
