She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
You left your underwear on the fireplace
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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