I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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