3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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