i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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