Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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