she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
