I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
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