so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
