I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
