Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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