Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
