What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I supernannyed him into submission
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
