careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
