butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
