how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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