Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
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