I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
