he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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