I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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