dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
