Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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