dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I feel like death gave me a hand job
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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