i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
it glows. i had to have it.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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