when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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