shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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