I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
