I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
