I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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