There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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