she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
