i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
