is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
