so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
