He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize
