I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
