Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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