Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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