Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
