his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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