all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
