I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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