You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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