If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
