omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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