Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
