Rock
Scissors
Fuck
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Randomize
