Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
