my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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