Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
This is classic penis vs brain.
40s are totally the cure
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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