I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
